The “Do I Belong Here?” Moment: Borrowed Confidence, Real Expertise

Ever walk into a room (in person or virtual) and instantly feel like the little kid at the grown-ups’ table?

You’re smiling. You’re nodding. You’re trying to look like you belong. Meanwhile, your brain is doing that thing where it turns a normal conversation into a pop quiz you didn’t study for.

That’s the part that makes me laugh, because I can be perfectly competent and still have that “hi, yes, I would like to be excused from the table” feeling for a hot second.

Little over two years ago, I joined a networking group that felt exactly like that.

I walked in, and my first thought was: These people are impressive. Pay attention.

My second thought was: I’m here to learn and connect and hopefully not embarrass myself.

(For the record, 2 years later, I’m literally the one awkwardly dancing on camera to whatever music the president is playing as people join the call. I think it’s safe to say that embarrassment is no longer a concern of mine!)

I didn’t stroll in trying to prove anything. I also wasn’t telling myself I was “useless.”

I just genuinely didn’t know yet what I’d be able to contribute, and I was honest about that when I met with the leadership team afterwards. I wanted to be there, but didn’t want to take a seat that I didn’t deserve.

And then what happened next is why I’m writing this.

They welcomed me with open arms. I learned a ton. I built friendships and business relationships that changed my business.

And over time, I discovered there were things I could contribute, in my lane, that they didn’t have.

Like…

• My brain naturally thinks in systems and workflows. (I can’t not see the process.)
• My high energy kind of oozes into the room and brings everybody up a level, making the whole experience more fun in general.
• And I ask really good questions, the kind that help the person sharing the “complicated thing” break it down in a way that everyone else can actually understand.

That last one surprised me the most. I wasn’t walking into the room trying to take over the conversation, but my questions ended up leading the conversation because when one person gets clarity, the whole group gets better.

So I was learning… but I was also contributing in a way that made the room better for everyone, including me.

Fast forward to recently: someone from a different chapter of that same networking group made an introduction for me, and this is one of those “wait… what?” moments.

This person and their spouse run five successful businesses. Not in a “they’re busy” way. In a “they know what they’re doing, they’re operating on a level I genuinely admire, and I’m taking notes” way.

So when that kind of person hears me teach, sees me lead conversations, and thinks, “You know who needs to be part of this global event about travel that I am a part of? Alison.”

I’m going to be honest, it stopped me in my tracks. I know nothing about the travel agency world.

And I mean nothing, nothing.

Two and a half years in an RV taught me exactly one thing about travel: make sure there’s enough money in the bank account for gas, RV spots, and road trip snacks. Never EVER forget the snacks!

That’s the curriculum. That’s the syllabus.

So this introduction leads to a conversation with a woman leading the summit. After 30 min, I got invited to this panel call for their June event. Mind blown.

And then this week I got to meet another panelist on our event prep call who is extremely established in the travel space and media… has a TV show… has been on major news stations covering travel disasters and updates and all the things.

And internally I’m like… here we go again. Do I even really belong in this room? Because I feel wildly out of my league right now.

I can’t believe I actually said this out loud, but I blurted out, “I don’t even know how I got on this panel,” and kind of chuckled.

That opened the door for a bigger conversation about who I am and what I do. I was honest (again) that I know basically nothing about travel… which, as we’ve established, is on brand for me.

And the other panelist basically summarized it like this: “Here’s our division of strengths. Mine is marketing + business foundations. Yours is systems + strategy, and using those systems and foundations to actually get there. So when the questions come up that are in your lane, I’m handing them to you.”

Then the host of the summit reiterated the same thing: she brought me onto the panel for my area of expertise, not because I knew anything about travel.

And there it was again, the reminder I apparently need on repeat:

Just because you’re not the expert in their lane doesn’t mean you don’t belong in the room.

What to remember when you’re the “new one” in the room

Here are the three things I want you to remember (because I’m not leaving you with a story and a “good luck out there”):

1. Don’t be afraid to be in rooms where people are “smarter” than you, in at least one capacity.

That’s where you learn. That’s where you make connections that help you level up.

2. If you get invited in, you bring something to the table. Own it.

Just because it’s easy for you doesn’t mean it’s easy for everyone else. Stop downplaying your expertise like it’s “just common sense.” (If we all had “common sense,” we’d also all have clean inboxes and a consistent bedtime. And yet here we all are.)

3. The most confident people aren’t the ones acting like they have it all figured out. They’re the ones asking questions, staying curious, and learning out loud.

You can be confident and still not have the answers. That’s not a flaw, that’s leadership.

Weekly challenge:

Brace yourself, because it’s about to get uncomfortable. Take a look at the rooms you’re in right now.

Are you in a room where you’re contributing and helping others grow? (Keep that one, we love that.)

Friend, if every room you’re in has you as the guru, that’s a problem. Growth requires friction. Be in at least one room where you feel a little uncomfortable… because you’re being stretched.

Now here’s the actual challenge, not just “go get uncomfortable,” but do something concrete:

1. Pick one room you need to be in by next week.

• A networking group where you’re not the most experienced person
• A mastermind where you’ll have to ask questions, not just answer them
• A speaking/teaching opportunity where you know you have something to share… but a part of you still wonders, “Am I actually the expert?” Submit it anyway.

2. Take one action in the next 7 days to get in the room.

• RSVP/buy the ticket
• Ask for the introduction
• Apply/submit the form
• Say yes to the invite you’ve been “thinking about”

3. Show up like a leader, not an imposter.

• Ask one question you’d normally keep to yourself (when it’s not your lane)
• Take one note you can implement immediately
• Introduce yourself to one person (even if it feels awkward)
• Don’t downplay knowing what you know!!

And before you go, I’m going to practice what I preach for a second.

You’re the expert in your industry, getting results for clients because you know what actually works, solving problems they’ve been stuck on for months (sometimes years), and helping them make decisions they don’t have the context to make alone.

I’m the expert who can help you do all of that better with AI-powered operating systems inside Notion, so your business runs clean, clear, and actually supports the level you’re trying to lead at.

So if one of the “rooms” you keep avoiding is the one where you ask for help with your backend, your systems, or how to use AI in a way that actually makes your business run cleaner… you’re not alone.

So many business owners feel like they have to “get it together” before they get support. It’s embarrassing to admit things are messy.

Friend. The mess is not going to clean itself up.

If you want to know how AI (and specifically Notion) can help you build a backend that doesn’t feel like a junk drawer with a revenue goal, send me a DM with the word BATMAN, and I’ll reach out so we can chat about what would actually help your business.

And if you’re feeling like the little kid at the grown-ups’ table right now, don’t hide behind your water glass, pull up your chair, because you’re not there by accident.